hotel room ftw
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
