question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
