FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
