If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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