i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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