Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
