I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
