I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
