some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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