ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize