Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
