Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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