If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
