Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
