Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
