It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
