WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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