just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
