all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
