you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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