So drunk its hurt
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
