Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
