the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
