Sry I called you an 8
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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