def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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