i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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