girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
