Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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