shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
