i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
