I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Boobs speak an international language.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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