left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
