my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
