Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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