you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
