it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
