I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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