why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I have post one night stand depression
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
