is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
