my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
