I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize