I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
