fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
