I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
