is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
