...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
