Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
