bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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