Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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