And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
