New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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