The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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