T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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