I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i permit you to call me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I am spending my child support on dildos
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
