Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
