Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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