he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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