He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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