I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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