I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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