i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You peed on a flamingo?!?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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