I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize