he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
All I want is dick and wine.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
