drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
