If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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