I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
