its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You're like the curious george of whores
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
