Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
