She said her name was "party"
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize