I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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