I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
