Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
