I heard we made out
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
