I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
the raccoons are back...
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