This girl is more easily done than said...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
