apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
