just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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