I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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