Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
