Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize