I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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