I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
