That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
