nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
